A place between Heaven and Earth, where streams of consciousness merge.
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Love Letters, Author Unknown...
- is a private place to stream my consciousness, vividly and memorably, beyond the commonplace.
- is a place to let loose and write fluidly --without self-consciousness, censoring, judgment, and concern over correctness and conventions -- with words that surge and flow past inhibitions and perfectionism.
- is a place to say in writing what is hard to say face-to-face.
- is a place to snatch the will-o-the-wisp moments in life and put them in a less ephemeral form.
- is a place to record the history of my journey in life, protecting its memories from the ravages of time and oblivion.
- is a place to keep track of the stages of growing into wisdom, evolving spiritually, stepping into soul-self, and creating value in my presence on Earth.
- is a place to capture the texture of my day-to-day life, to observe the present moment.
- a place to grapple and deal with life's challenges, consciously work through them, and resolve conflicts safely and constructively.
- is a place to share the happy things going on in my life.
- is a place to express my gratitude, embracing life in all its forms.
- is a place to be mad, blow off steam, gripe, spill my guts, dump, unload, cry, curse, rant, get it down and get it all out.
- is a place to figure what it is that I am dealing with it.
- is a place to discuss hot topics or discuss sensitive issues with myself, which would be difficult to be candid and honest face-to-face with any one else.
- is a place to put my whole and open heart into the writing, into the page.
- is a place to tie up loose ends, release attachments to old wounds and past conflicts, tell people off, write unsent letters, face my demons, speak words unspoken, and then move on, unencumbered.
- a place to preserve the stories of my relationships; recall dimly-held memories, before they slip through the fingers of time, becoming distant shadows.
- is a place to express how much I love the dear ones in my life, how much they mean to me with words that they may wish to read and reread and know just how wonderful they are.
- is a place where I can write how proud I am of them and praise them to high heaven without embarassing them.
- is a place to share triumphs.
- is a place that allows me to learn from the past, keep my promises, and remind me of my commitments.
- is a place to reread and look back on happy/triumphant/adventuresome/ courageous moments to pick up my spirits, warm my heart, remember fondly, make me smile, and tickle my soul.
- is a place to deal with inner conflicts, where all aspects of me can be heard in an atmosphere of trust, understanding, full disclosure, understanding, and resolution, thereby creating and forging cooperative bonds among them.
- is a place to complain, explain, and read between the lines.
- is a place to think things through and feel things out.
- is a place to make wise decisions, after considering the alternatives, pros and cons, other side of the coin, advantages and disadvantages; gaining perspective, and staying responsible.
- is a place to enjoy my own company.
- is a place to contemplate, brainstorm, and strategize on how I can help make this world a better place.
- is a place to catch and hold on to dreams.
- is a place to reflect, contemplate, intuit, question, clarify my point of view, communicate deeply with respect, honesty, and openness, receive insight, and tap into the "still silent voice" within, the wellspring of Wisdom.
- is a place to share with others, as "The best gifts are those we share with others."
- is a place to celebrate milestones, "firsts", "best evers", goals attained, big and small, detailing them to my heart's content.
- is a place to discover and acknowledge my strengths, my capabilities,
- is a place to check within, simply asking, "How are you?" or "How was your day?"
- is a place to explore the full spectrum of feelings -- joy, sadness, pride, sorrow, disgust, apprehension, excitement, elation, ambivalence, worry, concern, nonchalance, irritation, impatience, exuberance, enthusiasm, upset, fear, confidence, faith, vascillation, restlessness, confusion, clarity, boredom, decisiveness, satisfaction, dissatisfaction, bliss, lightness, darkness, delight, frustration, fulfillment, pain, well-being, anger, peace, agitation, tranquillity..
- is a place to pray.
- is a place to heal.
- is a place to empower.
- is a place to restore and become whole.
- is a place to create my own reality by writing down my heart's desires and bringing dreams to life.
Dear Jeanne & Roy,
Our evening with you was greatly enjoyed by us: dinner of green salad, "handed" into our salad dishes, chicken Kiev, springtime asparagus, rice pilaf, and chocolate dessert served with strong coffee -- served on beautiful Blue Willow dinnerware that says, "Home!", as it was my family's dinnerware as I grew up, and later at the Performing Arts Center, which showcased the prodigious talents of Valleyites.
Retirement becomes you, Jean; you look radiant. Rested. At ease with the world. What a relief to no longer have to anticipate the next day's morning drive, sometimes treacherous, down the mountain to the high desert. For the kids. Now that was a testament to the true dedication of you as a teacher! I'm glad that angel on your shoulder, who kept you safe and sound, never ever left its perch, kept its eyes on the road, and whispered cautions, when needed.
Having endured, no doubt, sweetens retirement's joy for you. You've accomplished much in the short time since you retired. Wedged between your travels hither and yon, you and Roy have created a beautiful home, filled with countless personal touches, integrating and harmonizing those unique and meaning-full family antiques and memorabilia into modern spaces. My marveling eye alighted on details that attest to your artistic flair and keen eye for design and was delighted.
Roy, these last many years, you've been through more pain, discomfort, and fatigue than most, yet always remained in good humour. Except for that bruised left cheek down South from that fall eleven days ago, you now appear to be in the pink of health, and we thoroughly rejoice with you in that.
At your 50th anniversary of your high school graduation this year, Roy, you might want to goodnaturedly disclose just who are to that girl you once had a crush on, i.e., that "dorky" guy who sat behind her in class, as described by that girl to Jeanne -- not knowing it was YOU. She'll be eating her heart out, so envious of Jeanne. Hehehe.
Your most recent trip to India was a goal fulfilled, against less than great odds at the time of your application, post-surgery. Especially funny was your story of how you were the (much surprised) commencement speaker at that Indian girls' school graduation! Ad libber that you are, no problema.
Meeting Bob and Mary Lou last night was fortuitous for us, and likely therapeutic for them. Talking about their recent brush with death from carbon monoxide poisoning might have helped to take off the scary, surreal edge of their all too real, horrifying experience. And good for us, as we will be obtaining a carbon monoxide alarm, posthaste.
At work, last week, a friend, having heard of the Arrowhead CO asphyxiations, asked me if we had a CO alarm at our cabin; when I said we did not, that I did not know that such a thing existed, he urged me to get one, out of genuine concern. I quickly made a mental note of it, but should've known better: "The palest ink is better than the best memory." A Chinese proverb, maybe even Mandarin. In the course of the busy day, the mental note evaporated. I'd completely forgotten about it...until last night.
Now having heard aboutBob's and Mary Lou's first-hand experience, including Mary Lou's being out-of-body and on the brink of departure, we have been personally and thoroughly educated as to the possibilities of CO death, its warning signs and symptoms, including the almost-fatal rationalizations of intelligent people to "explain" their grogginess -- just returned from Tahiti, so maybe a bad case of jet-lag? just got out of the hot tub, so maybe drowsiness from the enervating heat? maybe a case of food-poisoning?
Thank goodness for Mary Lou's mention to Jack of a possible gas leak, clicking on a bulb in the Judge's mind to get fresh air, who then struggled to fall off the bed to the floor to then drag his body over to the door to let in life-saving fresh air into their almost-to-be death chamber. Most soberingly real was Mary Lou's description of her utter inability to reach for the phone, just inches away, to call 911, so weakened was she.
We are each living the dream life, much too exciting, fulfilling and dear to take unnecessary chances on premature departures. I regard last night's cocktail conversation as a second chance to heed a warning, heard the second time as clearly as a clarion call. We heard it, thanks to your guests, loud and clear.
Bob and Mary Lou are no strangers to us, just friends that we just hadn't met yet. Thank you for sharing them with us. As we were putting on our coats to leave for the theater, Bob shared with me that this was their first evening out into the community in a long time. They had lost their son to cancer and had withdrawn themselves from the outer world, to retreat into themselves. I understand the devastation of losing an intensely loved one, and how that can lead to reclusiveness and the need to tend to life emotional wounds in private.
Their son on the other side, knowing it was not yet their time to reunite as they will one day, whispered to Mary Lou and Bob, spurring them into life-sparing action. Still in the process of reentry, we were glad to be in like company. Extracting ourselves, that is, from the muck and mire of grief.
Thank you, most of all, Jeanne and Roy, for being the fine neighbors and adorable friends that you are to us. We look forward to mid-April, when we get to once more enjoy last night's string quartet. The Brownies, Bach, and Mozart, who can resist!
Until we meet again, enjoy the shimmering icicles hanging from your front porch eave; the glittering snowdrifts outside your kitchen window, ... and the bracing freshness of rejuvenating, life-giving, clean mountain air.
With much affection,
AU
P.S. Who can resist the charming legend depicted on Blue Willow Ware - that of the star-crossed lovers who were turned into immortal love birds?